Lucia Gabriel
Perfectionism is commonly assumed to be a positive trait in students, but when it gets taken too far, there can be many negative effects. It can cause increased anxiety, stress, burnout, and low self-esteem. It is important to learn that not everything will be perfect and to discover a balance between pushing towards excellence and accepting flaws. Many students in high school also feel the impacts of perfectionism when it comes to their college application.
According to nampaimagine.com, “Perfectionism is more than just a desire to do things well. It’s an intense need for everything to be flawless, often accompanied by a harsh self-criticism when those high standards aren’t met.” There are many factors that contribute to this pressure, such as parental pressure, fear of failure, or setting unrealistic standards. Grayson Merrill, a junior at Ponte Vedra High School (PVHS), said, “Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough and feel overwhelmed by what is expected of me versus what I’m currently doing.” Students often put themselves under an excessive amount of pressure when they feel the need to strive for perfection. They may even steer away from taking chances or risks, as the fear of failure takes over even further. Having this harsh mindset will lead to teens interpreting mistakes as failures and will learn to have an “all or nothing” way of thinking.
There are three types of toxic perfectionism, according to newportacademy.com, including self-oriented perfectionism, socially prescribed perfectionism, and other-oriented perfectionism. A self-oriented perfectionist sets unimaginably high standards for themselves, such as getting all A’s, which can directly lead to psychological distress, anxiety, or even eating disorders. A socially prescribed perfectionist believes that those around them, such as parents, teachers, or coaches, set extremely high standards for them to meet. A teen with other-oriented perfectionism holds others to exceedingly high standards, which can trigger loneliness, blame, and lack of trust. Individuals with perfectionism tend to be very self-conscious and critical of themselves, as well as of others. They also could have conflicts when it comes to turning in assignments because they fear the work is not good enough. Ms. Grillo, a guidance counselor at PVHS, said, “Failure and mistakes are part of growth, so students need to be okay with it, and have a shift in thinking.” When an individual isn’t doing something right, they learn through fixing their mistakes.
“Sometimes I feel like I am not doing enough and feel overwhelmed by what is expected of me versus what I’m currently doing.”
Grayson Merrill (11)
Some students may feel the pressure to look perfect on college applications. A major cause of stress for students is the fear of not being accepted in their dream school, leading to extreme pressure to have a high GPA, load their application with extracurricular activities, and perform well on tests. Ms. Grillo said, “When applying to colleges, students need to figure out what it is that sets them apart.” Many students have similar academic profiles, so it’s important for them to be active in other activities that’re unrelated to grades and test scores. Ms. Grillo explained that authenticity is extremely important because colleges want to see who you are as a person.
Many students feel like they aren’t doing enough and compare what they’re doing to their peers. Some students use this pressure to push them to go beyond their limits. Paris Mickle, a senior at PVHS, said, “The pressure I experience is a great motivator because it pushes me to do better. Sometimes though, it can get bad when it’s not in moderation.” She also explained that when students don’t get into their top schools they applied for, they tend to lose focus on the schools they did get into. Ms. Yoder, an American Sign Language (ASL) teacher at PVHS, explained that during college application season, she notices changes in student behavior and stress levels. “It becomes a fear of not getting in and measuring up to others,” said Ms. Yoder. The parents of students also play a major role in their perfectionism. Some parents put a lot of pressure on their kids to give off a certain image to colleges, leading them to have a fear of disappointing their parents.
Paris Mickle added, “It’s good to use the pressure you’re under as a motivator and a healthy amount of it can help you strive to improve.” It is important for students to remember that their self-worth isn’t based on their grades or the college they attend. “There is nothing wrong with going to a small school or community college. Just try to do the best of your capabilities and be content with it,” said Grayson Merrill. Encouraging healthy attitudes towards mistakes can help teens enjoy what they’ve accomplished, and look back and be proud of those accomplishments.
Pictured: Test score with an A plus, demonstrating the struggle of maintaining high grades.
